toy soldiers. [cassiopeia]

[Kri the Resolute]

The sky reigns over me like any leader should. That massive body, ever present, allows us freedom as well as a place to keep us grounded, in mind at least. My feathers touched it, pulling me through the cloud cover to the field I had become so fond of. The sun poured in over the field, never allowing the cold winter to get a firm grip on its beauty. Cassiopeia, the young mare that I had met here on a day not so long ago, followed behind me. She had been relatively eager to join in the cause, but admitted that she had no formal military training.

Yet, in those bright eyes, I could sense the spirit of a warrior.

The heart was the most important part of battle, despite what many think. It is not your musculature or your magic nor your strategy; it is the valor and ferocity with which you fight. Of course, the former is also important, yet if you have no heart, all of your strength, magic, and strategy will go to waste against a true warrior.

Making a large arch, I bring myself downward toward the fields, gray hooves landing lightly in the taller grass which tickled my sides. I folded my wings and waited for Cassie to catch up and stand by me, waiting for instruction. When she stood at attention, I began to speak, my voice cutting and serious. “This will be a training spar as well as one for evaluation,” the voice stating the purpose. “We are not here to injure each other, so you will have to keep your wits about you.”

My blue eyes take on a mischievous twinkle then, and I smile at her. “Have fun, but stay focused. When I say halt, no more attacks are to be given.”

I MADE A THRONE FOR HOPE TO SIT.

[ Two paragraph style, 3 posts each, no magic. The setting is in the Heavenly Fields, sunny, no major weather to be reported. I was thinking that you could try a spar with magic with Voltaic later, if you wanted. Blu is better at explaining those things. xP Otherwise, this will just be your typical type spar. c: ]

[Cassiopeia]

Without hesitation the blue roan mare followed, gliding with ease through the frigid winter air. Her massive wings pothered occasionally to keep her elevation as Kri led the way to the Heavenly Fields to begin their spar. Her slender legs were folded neatly beneath her as she flew, and her lengthy silken mane billowed in her wake. Behind her cobalt physique her leonine tail hung freely, swaying back and forth. Cassiopeia had little experience or knowledge when it came to fighting, but she had always wanted to be a warrior. Being a mare, she was not allowed to be a warrior In her homeland. In Valryn, only stallions were permitted fight. It was just another reason she had chosen to leave that dismal place.

When they eventually reached their destination, Cassiopeia arched downward, succeeding Kri as she alighted on the grassy field. The instant her hooves connected with the ground, she began to furl her massive silver wings atop the sweeping contours of her back. As the bay mare explained the purpose of their bring here, Cassiopeia nodded in acknowledge meant, before replying simply: "I understand." She stood mutely for a moment, preparing herself mentally for their spar.

[Kri the Resolute]

With the sun high in the sky, the thin air seemed less chill than the world below the clouds. However, this sunlight could prove to be quite bothersome in a fight should I choose to angle my face wrong, so I tuck this mental note in my brain before I start. Cassiopeia had a serious look upon her young face, one of determination that makes the smile on my face grow larger. There was no need for such staunch behavior, but the gravity of this situation did not escape her. For that, I am glad. Often, younger ones have the tendency to view battle as a carefree game - something they should not look at so light-heartedly. After her agreement, my body sets into motion. I close the gap between us quickly, loosening my wings to push down, lifting my front end up to strike out at her left shoulder gently with my hooves, teeth snapping at her face. And thus, the spar had begun.

My hooves touch the soft ground again, my face turns away from her small, darkened frame. My hooves continue to kick up some soft grass, but my wings are pulsing in preparation for launch. The greatest advantage of a Pegasus, after all, was the beauty of flight. My front hooves lift first, shortly followed by my back hooves which kick out loosely behind me. Kicks were especially dangerous in spars if used with too great of force. In this friendly bout, I want to demonstrate the difference between actual battle and a scuffle with your comrade. Control was essential. If she struck out too harshly toward me, I would only have to lash out more strongly with a barking order to heed her strength. This one, I thought as I sail into the air, would not be so much of a problem. In the sky, I spin easily, wings lightly caressing the smooth air, the wind my home. I hover, almost suspended, in wait. Come, child, my eyes said. Show me what you can do.

[1/3][ 340 Words ]

I MADE A THRONE FOR HOPE TO SIT.

[ooc; This is my first time giving OOC instruction, so if you have any additional questions, feel free to shoot me a PM or tackle me in the cbox.

In this post, Kri is simply lunging at Cassie, aiming her hooves toward her left shoulder. Try to picture this in your head. They are standing across from each other, so that would me Kri's left side would be exposed to Cassie if you're thinking about retaliation strikes at that time. She also bites out at her face, which is a fairly common thing for horses in fights - they spend a lot of time rearing at each other and biting at the head/neck area. Keep this in mind for sake of realism, but don't let it interfere with your creativity. They are pegasus, after all, so they aren't going to fight just like horses.

That is why I chose to have Kri run from her side and launch into the air, when she turns around to look at Cassie. It's always good to make sure your character knows where the opponent is, versus just you, the writer. If you get in a position where your character would not be able to see the opponent, but you still have your character aware of their attack, it's unrealistic and you could lose points.

It will not be apparent in this post, since it's simply an attack post, but I chose two paragraph style to help with organization. Typically, it's easier to bunch your defense in the first paragraph, and offense in the second. These can intermingle if the opportunity for a strike comes up in the middle of defense, of course, but for general purposes, that would be the best way to handle it. Plus, I hate stressing about word counts.

There's not much else I can say about this post, though. :U Pretty straightforward and to the point.]

[Cassiopeia]

The roan maiden felt her muscles stiffen beneath her skin as Kri lunged toward her. As the mahogany mare's hooves collided with her left shoulder, pain shot through her nerves. Thought it didn't break through the skin, a bruise would likely be present tomorrow. As her teeth came lashing toward her face, Cassiopeia's head flung backward, maw tipped to the azure sky while her long, slender neck was erect atop her lean shoulders. Managing to evade the bite, she shifted her weight to her haunches, lifting her fore legs into the air in a sort of half rear while shuffling her aft legs backwards a modest step or two. Her silvern wings partially unfolded in the process, resettling atop the contours of her back as her body became parallel with the earth once again.

As the bay mare bounded away, Cassiopeia aimed to bite her flank, her lean neck outstretched awkwardly for a moment before she quickly regained her poise. As Kri took flight, the blue mistress watched for a brief moment, cyan eyes following her mahogany form as she sailed through the cool atmosphere. She finally decided to follow, picking up a small amount of speed before hoisting her forelimbs into the air, swiftly followed by her hind legs. Her massive wings beat impellently, forcing her cobalt physique upward. She soared with ease through the crisp air before stopping in front of Kri, feathered appendages working to keep her suspended. Then, with a forceful beat of her wings, she lunged toward Kri, attempting to lightly nip her neck. Swerving abruptly to the right, her hind legs lash outward toward the other mare, though lacking a great deal of force.

[ 1/3 ] [ 284 words ]

[ OOC - I hope you don't mind the smaller word count. But anyway, Cassiopeia took the strike to her left shoulder, but flung her head into the air to evade her bite. As Kri ran away, she aimed a bite at her flanks. She then followed Kri into the air. Once they were face to face, Cassiopeia lunged toward her, attempting to nip her neck. She then swerved to her right, aiming to lightly kick Kri's left shoulder. ]

[Kri the Resolute]

My hooves clip her shoulder, but my teeth grasp just the cool air as I move past Cassiopeia. The slender frame gives way, moving slightly backward even as I continue to push past her, a smile curling upon my lips in content. The start of war drums peeling in my ears, the sound of my heartbeat. Her bite, aimed at my flank, clasps easily, as I had no intention to protect such an area. The teeth clip and pinch my skin as I dart past, causing the capillaries to tear, releasing blood under the surface of my skin - a sizeable bruise tomorrow, perhaps. At the moment, however, it was but a passing sting falling into a dull pain that I could easily ignore. My ears tilt backward, listening for Cassiopeia to follow before I launch myself into the air. I hear no movement until after I have gained altitude, my blue eyes scanning the ground for my opponent. Soon, the sound of delicate feathers in the air as I hover, waiting for the taller girl to catch up to me. A mischievous smirk on my face as she stalls in front of me momentarily - I am not so nice.

I push my wings downward, lifting my body harshly vertical, elevation increasing swiftly. The lung she makes forward toward my former position is almost pointless, except her high aiming nip catches my back right canon, causing a small tear in the skin and pull uncomfortably on the muscle momentarily, the cool air stinging the freshly opened wound. No worries, though, as my body is still rising. Sudden, my bodying shifts in weight, tossing my front end powerfully downward, my back hooves pointed upward instead, wings falling flat on my back to allow me to drop again, curving to bring myself back toward Cassiopeia below. One, two, I count, assuring that I won’t fall too dangerously far as to truly injure my younger, slimmer opponent, and three. Upward I jerk on my wings, righting myself just slightly above her airborne frame, missing her light kick complete due to my aerial maneuver. The sky is my home, I think to myself, as I point my front hooves at her back, propelling forward and passed her - a light graze on her upper barrel, if I’m lucky. My neck curls to the side, so that my teeth may also snap around her ears and neck, though not violently. After all, even as I sail past, a laugh peels from my lips. Practice was just as fun as it was important.

[2/3][ 428 Words ]

I MADE A THRONE FOR HOPE TO SIT.

[ ooc; I’d like to start with the negatives on your post so that we can finish with the positives. C;

You have the same problem that I have when fighting Onni. Mechanically, you are doing great. What you are lacking, however, is the emotional perspective of the post. I know in fights it is really easy to focus solely on the moves, the defense, and strategy. However, the only thing that really makes your post stand out compared to another equally competent fighter is emotion. In your post, I don’t feel Cassiopeia in it at all. What is she feeling? How is she thinking? Is she excited? Is she scared? Is she confused? Right now, there is really no hints to her state of emotion. The judges -love- emotion. That doesn’t mean it has to come across as a Shounen manga, but your character should be present in the post.

There is also no mention of pain associated with the wounds she receives. That is extremely odd - even if Kri is “playing nice” so to speak, a horse falling on your shoulder is still going to hurt. It won’t be a horrible omgi’mdying pain, but you should still take notice of it, as your character definitely would. Definitely. And, on top of that, I really have no idea what kind of damage was done to her shoulder. Is it a bruise? Is it a cut? A scrape? I don’t know. You have to tell the judges because they aren’t mind readers, either.

In mechanics, your grammar is flawless, really. I don’t ever proofread my posts (which is a bad habit), but I don’t think you are lazy like I am. xD That is a good thing! The judges like seamless, easy to read posts, and that is exactly what you are giving them.

As far as the actual fighting, you did a great job explaining your movements. You took in what Kri was aiming to do, and responded realistically. Horses really do throw up their heads like that, but an opportunity for emotion would have been like “The snapping jarred my nerves” or something. Whiplash would be really hard to avoid in that kind of fast motion. That being said, I still know exactly what is happening. You have very good idea about spatial reasoning, which is helpful during fights. If you can’t see it in your head, than the judges can’t. But, like I said, I have no problems while reading your post. I also feel like you kept it as realistic as possible when fighting imaginary creatures, so good job!

Now for Kri’s post.

Notice how I start back to her very first attacks, taking note of the successful and unsuccessful attacks. Then, I delve a little bit into her feeling of success through a small smile. That is really all you need to remind your judges that your character is still in control here. She’s present. Kri is a little bit excessive and excitable about battle, so that explains the next sentence. Then I go into your attacks chronologically. The bite is actually quite brilliant because Kri would not be guarding her flank, so I made it as such. Still, in that fast pace rush past her, it’s nothing more than a pinch - but there is still pain. Don’t forget to mention the pain. Don’t forget to be at times -overly- explicit when describing damage.

Now, they are in the air, yay. Kri decides to lift straight upward instead of staying hovering. That moment allows for her to be high enough to avoid the lunge, but not the bite. While she is moving very quickly, we still have to consider some science while fighting. Horses are pretty heavy. Since I’m not using her magic this time, she’s rising at a pretty understandable rate. So, she takes the bite to her back leg. She tears the skin, it pulls UNCOMFORTABLY on her muscles. There is feeling there. Let the judges know what your character feels.

Kri does a little kind of switch in the air, falling back down, spiraling a bit to reorient herself toward Cassie. It was hard to phrase, so it may be a tad bit unclear, but I still feel like it’s not unreadable. She falls for three seconds, before straightening out, presumably somewhere above Cassie, since that is where she is aiming. Her hooves are aimed to push at her upper barrel, while biting, again, toward the head. She intends to fly past her, so they are making a cross shape in my head. After the attacks, I fall back on an emotion perspective from Kri.

Don’t forget to make your character present. This was a very good fighting post, though! ]

[Cassiopeia]

Her initial aerial maneuver had proven useless. The silver dapple had propelled herself upward as the cobalt mare swerved abruptly to the right. Her slender legs lashed out at emptiness, dished hooves colliding with nothing but the crisp, winter air. Frustrated, the blue roan allowed a snort to erupt from her lungs. The bite, however, although originally aimed for her face, had been successful. Ivory teeth clamped down on Kri's right aft cannon and slightly tore the skin which mantled it. She grasped it her mouth, somewhat tugging it downward as the bay mare continued to increase her altitude. By the time Cassiopeia turned to once again look at her opponent, she was already in the air high above her slender frame, decelerating dangerously toward her. Surprised, Cassiopeia shifted her weight forward at seemingly the last second, sailing a small distance through the air in an attempt to evade her attack.

Her hooves missed her body completely, but even so, her teeth manage to pinch the sensitive skin of her ear as she glides by. It stung, but not unbearably so, and it broke no skin. It was nearly automatic for her to twist her head around and aim a nip at her face in response, ears drawn backwards on the peak of her head, though not threateningly. The mare's laughter almost felt like mockery as she soared past her, although a part of her knew this wasn't the case. Cassiopeia pursued her as she flew past, aiming to bite her croup from the left side. She curved her body upward, soaring higher precisely enough so she was just above Kri, and swooped over her back so she was parallel with her on her right side. As she did so, she attempted to kick her in the flank around the same region she had bitten her at the beginning of the spar.


[ 2/3 ] [ 331 words ]

[ OOC - Er... I hope didn't completely imagine this wrong. If so, my apologies. Cassie aimed a bite for Kri's face in response to her nip on the ear, and as she flew by she followed her. She attempted to bite her croup, before she glided over Kri's back from her left side to her right. As she was flying over when her hooves were still facing Kri, she aimed a kick in the same general area where she had bitten her before. ]

[Kri the Resolute]

Teeth lock on to a bit of skin and pinch as I glide over Cassie’s back. My blue eyes seem to smile, even as I do my best to attack her. Her face reaches around, seeking out my face for retaliation. The forward movement was too quick for the toss of her head to reach mine, however, and she latches on to the blonde threads of my mane. A slight tug at the base, perhaps a few loosed strands, but nothing painful can be mentioned. My laughter peels forth in the air - a jovial sort of sound amidst the din of battle. Teeth snap at the bulky croup, latching on loosely to the muscular bulge of my rump. They slide without catching much traction, producing a heavy snap on my flesh when the teeth fall together. A shrill sting of pain radiates from my backside, causing me to twist my rear away from the roan mare’s offending mouth. I let out a snort of pain, but it seems the fire of the sting is gone in an instant, replacing by the pouring of blood under my skin and a nasty bruise in the morning.

My blue eyes note that the thin mare moves with me, slightly forward, but starting to rise. Not wanting a foreign body above me in the air, I curve off to the left, beginning a roll upward as well, my back facing her barrel. My right wing reaches out toward the ground, while my left bends up toward the sun, rolling through the air easily and softly, even as the roan mare launches a kick toward what would have been my flank. Now the legs flail at air, causing some turbulence for my wings, but no direct damage. Keeping my confident attitude about flight, I hold my body steady, pushing my weight up and over. The barrel roll continues at an even pace, until I am upside down above the space where Cassie would have been, if her path continued straight. My hair dangles downward, possibly tickling her ears, even as I glance downward with girlish, bright eyes, a smirk as I loop my neck to the side in time with my curve, aiming a bite toward the cheek of my opponent. My barrel roll ends when I am at the right side of the roan mare. Kicking out gently to her side, I launch myself at a slight angle away from her. Any catch against her frame I would use to propel myself forward, the bright sun of the Heavenly Fields reflecting my mood. What a beautiful day to go flying.

[3/3][ 437 Words ]

I MADE A THRONE FOR HOPE TO SIT.

[ ooc; Sorry for the wait, Phantom.

I love your use of descriptive words. Like, honestly, you write so well describing the mechanical motions that it is blatantly obvious what you are trying to do, but in a fluid and well constructed way. You are a really talented writer, and, honestly, I enjoy reading your posts.

Finally, we get a look into Cassie’s thoughts, but I still feel you are lacking a little bit in it. This is a great improvement, though, as I actually get a sense of feeling from your post. I believe that she is struggling to learn, while also feeling a bit frustrated about not doing -perfect-, which is a very relatable and understandable position for a character learning to fight. Work a little more on these interjections, and I think your posts will be a force to reckon with. ;D

The only problem I have with your second paragraph is the bite you aim at Kri’s face. It is not a bad idea to bite out at Kri while she flies past, but you have to take into consideration the movement which is occurring. The time it would take for Cassie to turn her head, while Kri is already in motion past her, is too long of a span to really reach her face. Aiming for her shoulder or neck would have been a much better attack, less easily avoided. Try to keep a clear picture of the action in your mind. Though, that was a very good opportunity for you to strike out at Kri, so I applaud you for seizing it.

Pursuing her is good, the bite toward her croup is an excellent, realistic move. I loved your idea of going over Kri’s head and kicking out at her flank. I had to work a little bit to get out of that situation. Attacking a previously injured area is a very good strategy, too.

My response:

Note that I have Cassie’s bite land on her neck because of the movement. Nothing serious, a few plucked hairs. Had you aimed for her shoulder, it would have been a different story. I go into pretty sizeable detail about the croup bite, though, because it amounts to more damage.

Then we come to the fun, aerial part. I have her start a barrel roll, to circumvent Cassie’s attack. I am not sure how I could explain that in any simpler terms, so if you have questions, hunt me down. XD I decided to do this because it allows me to completely evade your attack, as well as keep it interesting. I would be reluctant with someone flying overhead, and horses definitely wouldn’t like it much, right? I use that aversion to my advantage to justify her movements. Anyway, the bite toward Cassie’s cheek is a simple thing. Imagine them being parallel, with one upside down and rightside up, essentially half way through Kri’s roll. That is when she starts turning her head, but at the same time, she’s still turning in the air. When her body is about, let’s say perpendicular to Cassie’s, that’s when she would actually be biting at her face.

When I have Kri coming down toward Cassie’s right side, I also launch a cowkick. This wouldn’t be very powerful, but it would allow Kri some momentum to push away from her. ]

[Cassiopeia]

The roan maiden's ivory teeth clumped shut on a mouthful of Kri's flaxen mane. She managed to pluck out a few of the course, blonde hairs as she abruptly drew back, before aiming yet another bite in the silver dapple's direction. This time her teeth connected with the fleshy region that was her croup, pinching down on the tissue just enough to burst a few of the capillaries within. There was some sort of peculiar accomplished, almost empowering feeling associated with a successful attack, the cobalt mare realized, and she could not help but allow a thin smirk to spread across her charcoal lips as she swooped gracefully over Kri's back. The sensation receded almost as soon as it was composed, when her dished hooves lashed out at nothing but the crisp winter air. A muffled snort of frustration came rushing from her inflated lungs as she arched her neck around to gaze toward her rival, contemplating her best choice of movement as the bay mare sailed with ease through the atmosphere.

Kri began to whirl through the air: a foreign body in the sky above the roan mare's svelte form. It was not a pleasant feeling that was received, but instead one of vulnerability. Cassiopeia's ears jerked backward, listening to the ruffle of feathers gliding through the air higher up. Then, suddenly, surprise constituted within her psyche, as the other mare's teeth greeted her cheek. Her ears flicked backward even farther, as Kri's dished hooves collide with her barrel. It was not the most forceful of kicks, but a morsel of pain still shot through her nerves. No abrasion marred the surface of her hide because of it, but a small bruise would likely form by tomorrow. In response, Cassi aimed to bite her leg as she flew away. The roan attempted to pursue her, feathered appendages working forcefully to propel her slender physique at a swifter pace. She sailed just slightly above Kri, angling her body to the right and making a sweeping motion in that direction, once again lashing out at the bay's flank with her hooves. She continued flying to the right, making a circle in the air before returning to her original position in the sky. She was uncertain how much longer they were to continue the spar. She aimed an inquiring glance toward Kri, wings beating steadily to hold her position amongst the clouds.


[ 3/3 ] [ 406 words ]

[ OOC - Sorry for the lateness, and also for the crappiness compared to my other posts. Anyway, in this post Kri's bite and kick were both successful, and Cassie aims to bite her leg as she flies away, then pursues her. I'm having an uncreative streak, so I kind of repeated my previous attack, except this time she keeps flying to the right, making a circle. Sorry, this post is pretty boring. ]

[Kri the Resolute]

[ ooc; I am going to try to work on this sometime during the week. Unfortunately, I have two finals I have to study for, so it may not happen until the weekend. xX; ]

[Cassiopeia]

[ ooc; gentle nudge. ]